Making contact in everyday situations
Many executives feel very confident in their area of expertise, and can discuss business topics with ease. However, they may feel insecure in handling everyday social situations in a different culture, with which they have little experience. If a bad impression is created by inappropriate social behavior, the business deal may never be done.
Let me prepare you before you travel to another country so that you will have the necessary social skills to deal successfully with your business partners.
For example, do you know how table manners are different? How should guests at a business dinner be seated? Do you leave a tip in the restaurant, and how do you leave it?
Some years ago when trade with China was just starting to open up, a Chinese trade delegation was invited to a banquet in Washington DC. The Chinese behaved as is acceptable at home, spitting out the bones of the fish that was served onto the table. This behavior was thought so rude that it gave the Americans a bad impression of the Chinese, which certainly didn't help the negatiations. The Chinese went home without reaching an agreement.
Even in the US or Europe, isn't it easier to reach an agreement with someone you trust and respect? Aren't both parties more willing to make concessions and accomodate the needs of the other side?
"Small talk" is sometimes regarded as trivial and unimportant, but it is essential for successful business relationships. In many cultures, trust and good personal relationships are the basis for any business deal. Sometimes the contract is continued only out of loyalty to the individual who made the deal. When a new representative is sent to the country, there is no further reason to continue the business relationship, as the personal relationship no longer exists.
Which subjects are appropriate for social conversation in the United States?
In every situation, you should judge to what extent it is appropriate to discuss these subjects. If interest is shown or questions are asked, you can usually safely discuss the topics family/children and health. In general, you never give your age or ask the age of your guest. The US respects youth and energy, and everyone wants to be considered young and dynamic.
Money is the main indicator of social status and success, therefore some people may be quite proud to discuss their financial affairs. You should be cautious about asking direct questions, however.
Race, religion and politics, like sex, are very personal matters, where feelings may be deep. Logical argumentation may be irrelevant, so discussion of these topics can be extremely dangerous. Your views may offend your partner's system of beliefs and lead to a disagreement and lasting bad will.